I know you are all thrilled to see my return, because let's be honest - your life is probably lame and you need the excitement of a midget santa to brighten your day. Well, I will try not to disappoint.
So last you heard from me I was shipping out of town, sick of the holiday cheer and the crap from the fat man (my jolly frienemy from up north). For those of you in a box, a frienemy is: A "toxic" person who poses as a friend but subconsciously or consciously wishes you harm. (Definition provided by urban dictionary).
Well as promised when I left - I went straight to sin city and made me some money - everyone knows you can't last long without money. The tables were good to me.
From there I, well I stayed in Vegas a bit and did some partying. I got a high rollers suite, met some girls, partied with some more girls, drank a barrel and had a blast.
Well after some time in Vegas, I went to the airport with plans to fly out to Jamaica. Well I fell asleep in the airport and missed my flight, I was bummed so I had some more drinks and gambled on the airport slots and lost all my money...Stupid nap
I tried to find some of the girls I partied with but it turns out that without money, I'm not cool - WTF, well I guess I knew that but I was still pissed they wouldn't help me out even a little.So anyway, it took me a while but I hitched/stowed my way back home - my "family" is a pack of weirdos but at least they take care of me and accept me for who I am. When I got home I saw a lot has changed - The man of the house got a new truck, there's a new tv, the fury 4-legged yappers are bigger (and the runt is healthier) and they got a Wii - they must have had it a while cause they are pretty good and even have some new games.
Never thought I would say this but - I'm glad to be home. I think they missed me too.
