I'm Soooo Outta here!

I have had just about enough...the fat man makes "my family" look like angels. I can't believe that man - sticking me in a bag.....eating MY cookies, drinking MY milk and laughing that stupid ho-ho-ho chuckle. Ugh sickening. I decided it would be best to take off for a while and cool down....
December 26, 2008 - I'm packed and hitting the road - maybe I'll visit sin city and be really naughty! Ha what do you think about that fat man!??

Freakin Fat Man

Well the day has come and the fat man was here. I have done EVERYTHING I could think of to get that jolly beast to not stop at our house. First I tried to get the entire family on the naughty list - that worked for some but not everyone so he was still coming...so then I climbed up on the roof and left a note that said "No Thanks, Try Again Next Year" and that didn't work, he still came. Then I tried to have a rational talk with him once he was inside MY house and he just had that stupid chuckle in response so then it got dirty - I tried my best to threaten that freak and you know what he did................
He tied me up!! YEA! Then he went to the kitchen, got some milk and cookies... then finished them off right in front of me (cause he knows very well I can't reach the fridge).


Then he stuffed me in a gift bag!! I'm tell you all - this is NOT a nice man....it's a SCAM! You think he is nice, then while your tucked away in bed he steals your plasma TV - you just watch!
This was Christmas 2008.

FOOTBALL!!!

Lets get this footBOWL started! It's bowl time people! I've got my chair, the remote and the games are ready to begin... just need a drink and a meatball sub and I'll be all set. Ahhh the lovely time of football - sadly it's always overshadowed by the activities brought about by my distant relatives up north bringing joy and cheer - blah, football does that for months not just one day! Wake up and smell the pigskin people! Then bring me my sub!!!December 20, 2008 - day one of the bowl extravaganza that starts with 34 college football bowl games and ends with the big dawg they call SUPERBOWL! Sit back and place your bets people, it's time for some football!

This boot was made for ice cream!

So here I am in front of the world's biggest shoe - well if it isn't the biggest that's just dumb, who needs a shoe bigger then this? Really! Apparently they are known for serving ice cream in this "shoe house". I swear this "family" knows some really weird characters. The Virginia folks brought me here - I really didn't get their interest in it! Ohhhh a big shoe - WOW. I can show you a tiny shoe! And I may not serve ice cream but you can get something else outta me!Somewhere in Pennsylvania, September 24, 2007. The Shoe House! Once again, there was a tour and I didn't get any - not even a sample!

Time for the Loofa

It's been just over 7 months since this thing has been seen - the loofa, not me obviously. Here's the story: I'm not the only weird object of affection that this "family" passes around. Every year the man of the house, the "doctor" and the one who lives in Virginia give this exact same loofa to the lady of the house for her birthday, mother's day and Christmas - well HA HA guess who has the loofa now! ME! And I have hidden it in a very secure place. Oh it will come out at Christmas, but the lady of the house may not be the one to get it this year - Muah ha ha ha ha
Or maybe she will! Point is - for once, I have them at MY mercy. I love it!
Mother's day 2008 - the lady opens up SURPRISE.....the loofa. This photo is the last it was seen!

I'm watching you!

So I thought I would get creepy and slowly peek over my "travel bag" and the joke was on me, as always. "The doctor" brought me into some public bathroom and sat me on some ledge - yea not even on the floor where I could catch a peek at an unsuspecting lady in the next stall. Anyway, I finally managed to get the bag down (not easy with my mitts) and she was there with a camera - ready to snap yet another picture....I mean geez these people never stop! You'd think they have something more interesting to do then bother me ALL THE TIME!
Buffalo Wild Wings Bathroom in Phoenix, November 2008

BOING

This place was super fun! I don't know what this thing was but it was a lot of fun! Now I know why the "doctor" likes to go to work - they have cool toys there!
November 2008

A little work - a little sweat

So while I was here I decided it might be a good idea to work off some of the Thanksgiving feast I stuffed myself with. Little did I know, this place isn't "little people" friendly...I couldn't find much equipment that my stubby legs and arms could use efficiently...
November 2008. Working out! Yea, you heard me - I'm getting strong fat man - watch out!

PEEK A BOO

Welcome to the inner sanctum! So this is what hell is like...a long white hallway with lots of doors and you have to pick your fate...Ok maybe not - I don't really know what hell is like! This was just me messin around at the "doctor's" office...come find me Zona!November 2008, when I realized I wasn't admitted to the hospital (or in hell). Had a lot of fun...you'll see.....