I'm trying to take matters into my own mitts over here!
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Oh hey, how's it going? My name is Santa. Period. NOT Santa Claus! Not St. Nick! Not Kris Kringle! Get it? Ya know what, let me help you notice the lack of similarity. Santa Claus is happy and jolly and lives in the North Pole and eats cookies with milk. I'm angry, I often feel sorry for myself, I move around a lot (though I originated in the South Pole) and I'm lactose intolerant. Just call me Santa, and please, don't smile when you do it.
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